Some matters we take far too serious

My husband and I enjoy reflecting on how we see the future for our girls. This always results in talking about what we “can, should or should not” do as their parents.

At one stage we came up with so-called “educational vision”, which I am sharing below. It appeared to be a good excercise, especially since we have done it before our first school visit.

In the past two years we have seen many schools, listened to opinions of different parents and dedicated a lot of time reading on the subject. We had some heated discussions related to schools we saw, we disagreed between each other, but we could always come to a common ground. Few times it was due to the fact we had our vision on paper. It helped us to get back on track and put things into perspective. It always reminds us that in spite of having different views on some issues we share the long-term vision. I also hope it will help us in the future, when we will face some important decisions as a family.

Here it goes…

“Long-term vision:
Help the girls understand themselves in order to find their passion and/ or vocation. Education should give them self-confidence and tools to do what they like and good at.

Short and middle-term:
1. Environment we want to create ( already created):
Our family is strong, loving and peaceful.
Freedom to do what they want provided there is discipline for daily essential tasks.
Environment to discover the world and themselves with our help
Slow introduction to the world outside with our guidance and explanation ( how to judge different people and situations, how to behave)
Lots of time together in a relaxing atmosphere.
Contact with nature and culture

2. Demand to education:
– help the girls with their long-term goals ( self-discovery and motivation to learn)
– avoid mediocracy and “do as the rest”
– challenge them without destroying their spirit

Additional ideas:
– high education is a must as a part of overall development
– we will not kill their passions by our practicality
– we will not tell them that they will never be “good enough” to earn money with what they are doing, but we will encourage them to be critical about themselves and challenge them early on
– we will motivate them to try different things
– we will encourage patience and effort, not push for success, but motivate to excel without being afraid of failure
– we will teach them the value of money and advantages and pleasure of saving for something they want”

I don’t suggest that our vision is revolutionary, I don’t insist it is the correct one. We might reconsider it later on. I can very well imagine it might seem naive to parents with kids in their teen years.

I do insist, however, that joint work on a paper like this is important for a family. It lays a basis, which helps avoid big conflicts in the future, it motivates both parents to think of what is important for their kids and reach an agreement or compromise between both partners.

Have you done something similar?